Posted by: stephaniekathan | May 31, 2011

OMG- I am becoming my Mother!

Scary thought for most of us right? That doesn’t mean you didn’t love your mother. I loved my mother very much, but when I came to the heart stopping realization today that my life in some ways was mirroring hers………. It was time to do some thought deconstruction!

I looked back over the last couple of weeks to try to find the origin of these thoughts and it hit me like a ton of bricks.  My mother had been legally blind for several years before her death, and I remember thinking when I couldn’t see the television, Wow, I feel like my mother.

The next thing was our smoke detector. It began beeping like it does when you need to change the battery, which we did immediately yet still it kept chirping for 2 days as we kept struggling with removing the battery, replacing it again, and trying to silence the irritating chirp. Cody and I were remembering a time when this happened to my mother and she had him convinced there was a bird loose in the house. It was funny at the time, because it kept him busy for hours looking for the mystery bird that kept singing it’s song……. and I remember again having the thought….. Wow, I feel like my mother.

When I woke up yesterday morning with a pain in my hip I was confused.  I thought why is this happening? I found myself limping to the park with Trinity…….. and you guessed it…… thinking OMG I feel like my mother!

Now it makes sense! Our thoughts are so powerful that when you see your life in a certain way and add feelings to it as I was, it is inevitable to experience the things I was creating in my life!  Now that I know what the thought was that got this unpleasant ride started, I can begin to reconstruct the thoughts, building bridges and pathways to the life I want to live instead of mirroring the one I have already lived.

I began thinking very general. I am not my mother, this I know for sure. I am my own person. I have the ability to release the resistance these thoughts have created in my body and experience the connection to who I really Am.

I know that my thoughts are powerful, and I see how the pathways I was building led me to where I am. That is Empowering. It let’s me know I am the creator of this experience, and I have the ability to create and experience something different than what my circumstances are currently showing.

As I continued this general talk about what I Know…… I began to feel immediate relief.  It’s a strange phenomenon……. but real none the less.

Your thoughts are what constructs the pathways you follow in your life. Many just live by default, believing they have no control over what their circumstances are.  I have come to learn that the circumstances are nothing more than indicators, telling you the kind of thoughts you’ve been thinking.  Coming to that understanding is one of the most empowering for me.

If you have looked at yourself in the mirror of life, and seen your mother or father looking back at you…… don’t worry. You are You, and You are the only one who has the ability to create the life you want to live.  You also have the ability to live the life that is dealt to you, that’s how free you are.

I think we all have a deep fear of becoming our parents. It doesn’t mean we don’t love them, or they were bad people…… it just means that you want to be YOU, and that is exactly who you should be.

Love who you are, Love who your parents are, and understand that although they did the best they could with what they knew at the time, you are not required to live the life they lived. You have the right to live the life you want to live, do what you love…… but most of all…….. You are free to just be You.

I no longer fear becoming my mother and when I let go of my fear I found that everything else just seemed to work itself out.

Be You- And love who you are~

by Stephanie Kathan

 

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