Posted by: stephaniekathan | April 19, 2011

The Revolving Relationship Door

The Revolving door is Always in Motion.


While traveling this journey, I have come to understand the reality of the revolving relationship door, the powerful meaning of the word reciprocal and how to turn yourself around when you find your reality is a two way relationship built on a one way street.

For most of my life I guarded my relationship door with judgements and criticisms only allowing those I felt worthy to enter and then expecting them to stay forever,  depending on them in some way to attain happiness, believing it was the responsibility of another to give me this thing (happiness) I could not have by myself.

As I moved through the break-ups with life and new beginnings moved through the door, family members passed on and as I tried to look more for happiness outside of myself……

I grew more unhappy inside, blaming my relationship with others for my circumstances.



It wasn’t until I took responsibility for my own life that the revolving door made sense and I  let go of the title of “Gatekeeper” that I had been holding for so long.


What I began to realize is that no-one is responsible for my happiness….. except Me.

I began to enjoy my own company and I stopped making others responsible for the way I felt.

As I really practiced this, I realized something else……  my friends were not hanging out so much and friendships I thought were for “life” had begun to fall away.

This may sound like a loss to some….. and a fear that seems hard to face (it was for me for many years)….

The truth is you don’t lose anything.

The friends and family that moved out through the door made way for new relationships to come in.

I began to look at people coming through my revolving door as opportunities to receive information and direction as I held my intention to learn from the finest minds in the world…….

What I discovered was that was exactly who I found myself surrounded by.

I realized it is not the responsibility of someone else to make me happy…..  it is my own responsibility.

I discovered that it’s how I feel, that creates the happiness I enjoy in my own life…  doorway

and I had to decide to walk through that door on my own.

For some people this way of thinking seems too selfish.  We are conditioned to believe that we must sacrifice our own dreams and desires to make others happy and be the gatekeeper, not only for our life, but we try to control the relationships of other people as well.

I have come to understand that if I am falling apart, I am of no use to those I love…..

And when I’m in a state of Well -Being, Everyone in my life benefits!

There are those who will come into my life, stay for a moment and some will stay for a lifetime.  My revolving door will continue to flow with relationships that enhance and expand me…… allowing me to learn and grow.

Do not fear when a relationship has fallen away.  The Universe will bring those qualities you liked in the form of another relationship through your revolving door.

Discover who you are and learn to enjoy your own company.  If you don’t really like YOU, How do you expect others to like you?

Only YOU are responsible for Your own happiness and if you are open, your revolving door will bring wonderful opportunity to you in the form of relationships with others……

And you have all the support of the Universe on your side, but in the end happiness is an inside job that flows from the inside out.

Happiness Inside = Happiness Outside.

The choice is yours.  You can make the decision today to create your own happiness.   You can decide to enjoy the well being that is here surrounding you and flowing through your revolving relationship door.

The most important relationship you will ever have is the one with YOU and YOU.

Once you develop that relationship, everything else in your life will just fall into place.


Stephanie Kathan



  1. that was most beautiful. If only I could’ve come accross this 10 plus years ago. I’m sure you are assisting many how are bitter for reasons they need to let go……….huggs for this & sharing.

    • Thank You Abby! I think you will love my book “From Despair to Aware”! You can check it out here. Thanks so much for your comments and for sharing your heart with me.

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